The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!"
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But.. what happened to the other ear?"
"That stoopid dumbo called back!" ------------------------------------------------------
There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.
The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."
The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar."
The penis looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't knowanything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'theprison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put theprisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes butthe girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives hima suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recentlyborn foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,OKAY!
(Wishing Well) A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish andthrew in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned overtoo much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for awhile but then smiled and said,